Kitchen Lab: Burro Bananas

I better hurry up and write this, I have three hours left to buy my Powerball ticket. Right now, the jackpot is $900 million, which totally stresses me out. It’s the same feeling I get when I am one BINGO number away from winning, I want it but just can’t handle that much adrenaline. Which is why I am the BEST person to take on an adventurous weekend of zip-lining and parasailing (I’ll hold your stuff.)


The other pressure I’m facing is that my brother said he will buy us a new house if he wins the lottery. Sounds nice right, but there’s a catch. He said I have to give up my Hippie ways, which is so hard because I have NO hippy ways! I wear a bra, I’m not into drugs and I super, like SUPER hate tie-dye. My essential oil love is new enough to post date his hippie comments. So, what is it? I love organic, so that could be it. Anyway, pray for me, I have a tough road to a new home ahead. 


I am also really worried about becoming super oil annoying. This stuff is awesome and I can’t stop. Before I chose doTERRA, I read through different reviews and watched plenty of videos, trying to find the BEST oil. Then I just chose, not based on anything overwhelming, I just freaking chose. There is a bit by Aziz Ansari where he talks about extensive google research before buying a toothbrush. Why do we do this? By happy accident I found out I chose the better company (go here if you want to see why I believe this!) Aren’t you just kind of OVER all this decision fatigue? Back to Aziz…

Master of None is Aziz Ansari’s straight to Netflix series and it’s worth the watch. One of us (not me) lost our cable remote and rather than driving to the AT&T store, we’ve come up with ALLLL kinds of channel changing solutions. Mostly, we just hit the Netflix button on our other remote. 

My other Netlix love of 2015 was The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

If you’ve seen both and need more comedy, watch the newest John Mulaney special. 

If you are seriously behind in your comedy world and you truly love comedians who suffer from a case of trucker mouth, oh…are you in for a treat. This clip is not safe for kids, work, church or around your Mormon friends. Take off your mascara girl, you gonna cry. 

Where can I go from there? Burro bananas is the only true conclusion. 

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DSCN0448Near the plantains, you’ll either find Burros or mini bananas. Burros are chubby, short little minions and they are great for frying. My kids were all over these! Honestly, I didn’t notice too much difference between Burros and plantains, so I’d grab whatever the grocery store has and it is usually one or the other. Just be sure to choose very dark, almost black plantains if that is the direction you choose. Burros can be a deep yellow, just avoid the green. 

Burro Fries
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  1. Burro Bananas
  2. Coconut Oil
  3. Coconut Sugar
  4. Cinnamon
  1. Open bananas with a knife and peel away skin. Slice burros in half lengthwise and fry in enough coconut oil to cover about 1/2 inch of the bananas. Fry each side for 3-5 minutes. Remove bananas from pan and let oil drain on a plate covered by paper towels. Shake coconut sugar and cinnamon over immediately. Let cool and enjoy.
  If I DO end up winning the Powerball, I promise to continue blogging. All the food will be made by my home chef, so things might change up a bit. This is bringing back the idea of a sister wife, I almost forgot. I had things really worked out too. If I can recruit a couple of sister wives who are undercover lesbians and in the Witness Protection Program or something, so they need to hide out, things will go just perfect! I can keep Jy to myself and my sister wives will help with so many chores. Remind me about this later, ok? Good luck friends!

Kitchen Lab: Turmeric Smoothie

It has been about two years since I realized TUR-mur-ic is not pronounced TOO-mur-ic. Which reminds me of one of my favorite comedy bits of 2015.  Worth every second of your time, I swear.

Speaking of every second of your time, did you (or do you) watch The Walking Dead? My husband has been binge watching every night. We have a huge tv (if you asked my ten year-old self, regular sized if you ask my 38 year-old self) and this tv is smack to the left of our table where I blog and do serious work on Twitter and even more serious work playing Best Fiends.  

Each night he watches, I have to arrange the left side of my hair to stick out from my giant headphones in just the perfect way, to prevent my eyes from any zombie carnage and ears from hearing brain crunching. I can’t handle that stuff. But, TWD is also a drama. Did you know this? So, I can’t help but occasionally hear something compelling or peek at a longing glance someone is giving. 

Well, two nights ago I got a little cocky with my peeking and saw the thing which I had been avoiding all along. A gang of zombies started pulling apart a lone man, with their zombie teeth! I’m not sure if I saw an eye being pulled out, but I think I did. This mans face was stretched and pulled and GAAAH! It looked like silly putty. 

There was really no point to that story except to recruit others into my gang of scared people. If a zombie apocalypse really does begin, don’t look for me. I can’t handle that kind of pressure, I get nervous during a game of tag. I always answer the question of “How long will you last the zombie apocalypse?” with this scenario…

Me: “Uh oh, looks like zom…” 

For those of you who DO want to survive the zombie invasion, ready yourself now with this next ingredient in the Kitchen Lab Series, Turmeric!


Go check out p.s. it’s healthy, what a great site!

I know the infographic tells me to pickle it, but uh, that ain’t happening. My friend Kirsten has shared this butt kicking bowl of Turmeric soup with coconut milk and shrimp, perfect for this time of year. I’ll have to ask her for it and share with you. 

While I don’t super love drinking smoothies in the winter, I’m adding this one to my regular rotation. A local vegan cafe calls it something like The Golden Warrior Monkey, which I don’t know how I feel about. There is much about a monkey that I find appetizing. Maybe a Golden State Warrior smoothie, unless I get sued, then I won’t call it that either. For now, I give you…Turmeric Smoothie. 


Turmeric Smoothie
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  1. 2 very ripe bananas (frozen)
  2. 1/2 c. coconut milk (canned preferably)
  3. 1 T. Turmeric
  4. 1 T. coconut sugar (can omit if bananas are ripe enough)
  5. 1 t. ground cardamom
  1. Stick it all in the most powerful blender you've got! Careful with the cardamom, it's powerful!

Join me on Instagram, it’s where I have the most fun, see my screenshot? Where else can you see Bill Nye the Science Guy’s legs?


Happy January my friends, stay healthy and watch out for zombies. 




Kitchen Lab: Superfood Pudding

Helloooo. It’s me. I was wondering if after all these months you’d like to meet. th

To go over…everything. 

They say you can’t talk to dead people

But I disagree. 



Turns out, I do not actually have a future in song writing, who knew? I’ve missed you! You don’t have to say that you’ve missed me, I don’t want to make it awkward. 

Before we go on though, I have to cut straight to the chase. We are all going to die. I learned this today at the Chabot Science and Space Center in Oakland. So, get this…there’s this other galaxy that is scheduled to smack into us. 

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I know, right!? Oh, you don’t believe me? Here’s some solid proof:


When I go to church on Sunday, I have some serious questions. Who else knows about this? Is this what they talk about in The Andromeda Strain movie? 

Here’s a little more that I learned about space today: 

Space is scary. I don’t really remember all the reasons why, but it just seems awful. I’m glad it’s there and everything, but space just makes us seem so…little. Also, aliens would be horrible, so there’s that.

There are two jobs that I would rather die before having to carry out. First, Astronaut, which doesn’t have to be capitalized, but it seems rude not to. Second, person who works at one of the scary Halloween haunted campouts, like the one in L.A., with the slogan “Only the dawning will save you.” Google “Great Horror Campout” it’s almost as scary as floating alone through space. Total toss-up. 

Let’s talk about some fun stuff instead! Like Maca (rhymes with…um…,nevermind).


Have you tried it? Maca gives you energy without the shaky anxiety coffee can give. It’s great for mood balance and full of vitamins B,C and E. I’m just at the beginning phases of testing out this energy giving powder, but love it in smoothie bowls so far!


So, what do I do when I want to get to know a food? Google it, Pinterest it, ask friends about it? Yes, yes and yes. Doesn’t mean you have to! Hence, the new Food It Forward series, Kitchen Lab! I’ll be testing, trying, creating and giving you some ways of trying out new foods or maybe even traditional ingredients cooked in a new way. 

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Up first, Maca!

This is a super easy way to give maca a try. While you may be tempted to judge Superfood Pudding by it’s chunky and clunky look, I dare you to look a little deeper. This recipe is a serious potassium and vitamin B bomb, while tasting as deeply satisfying as any dessert can taste. While it’s easy to eat alone, can I suggest you split this? I’m a little sorry I ate the whole thing. Yes, it’s all raw food and made of simple natural ingredients, it’s also packed with enough energy to stop sleep from happening. 

I’m starting Kitchen Lab off with some extra weird ingredients for most people. It’s doubtful that you’ll be able to pop into your neighbor’s house and ask for a couple teaspoons of hemp seeds or cocoa nibs. Once you have these ingredients in your fridge however, you might be surprised just how versatile and helpful they are!


Superfood Cocoa Pudding
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  1. 2 ripe bananas
  2. 2 t. maca powder
  3. 2 t. hemp seeds
  4. 2 t. cocoa nibs
  5. 1 T. maple syrup
  6. 2 T. crushed cashews
  7. 1 T. cocoa powder
  1. Starting with the bananas, blend all ingredients together. Immersion blenders work best!
So, welcome back and thanks for joining me in the first Kitchen Lab post! Take a look around the blog, lots has changed. There’s a nice long rabbit trail you can follow to learn about my newest passion of wellness using doTERRA essential oils. Leave a comment below if you have any Kitchen Lab suggestions, or just want to say hi!

Here’s to a healthy and happy 2016! – Kim