Just Hold On, We’re Already at Home

Hi 2014! I’ve had more than a handful of friends ask, “Are you still blogging?” The proof is in the sugarless pudding gals, I’m back.

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What’s new since Christmas you don’t ask? Take a peek at the collage below and we can talk about it.

Ribbet collage

First, I must introduce you to my newest and bestest friend ever, my juicer. I don’t have a picture of her, but she’s flippin’ awesome! She is a Breville Fountain Elite, not a lady who hangs out in my kitchen squeezing limes. I don’t have her picture in the grid, but I do have some of her handiwork there. I’ve been loading the fridge each night with juices for the next day and I’m a total addict. Best Christmas gift from my parents, ever. Possibly tied with the Vitamix. I love both my kids equally.

My favorite juice is called the Red Lemonade and is a mix of beets, celery, kale, lemon, apple and ginger. It may sound like your worst nightmare, but it becomes totally addictive and gives you more energy than you know what to do with. Ok, ready?

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Five of the seven days of the week, I swap my morning coffee out for a juice. I know that may seem disgustingly blasphemous, given my history, but I can’t keep that kind of secret from you, I just can’t.

If you don’t have a juicer, and you have $8.99 to drop on a beverage, give the freshly squeezed juices at Whole Foods a try. They are awesome and nothing like Naked or Odwalla juices, which I now consider to be junk food.

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I know, I know, that was a super obnoxious thing to say. BUT, now that I’ve seen fresh juice and watched how it separates after about 5 minutes, I’m totally opposed to drinking whatever chemical or seaweed is used to hold Odwallas together. Plus, they are loaded with sugar and not enough veggies. Let the slapping of me commence.

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So, uh…I just did a search for “let the slapping commence”, wanting to add yet another meme, you know…for the sake of overkill. My Google Chrome TRIED to warn me that there might be inappropriate content. I took that as maybe some swear words. Now however, I kind of need to bleach my eyes. I feel like innocence has been stolen from me. Please don’t search that image!

Welcome back to those of you who didn’t listen. Hope you learned your lesson.

Distract ourselves with food. Distract, distract, distract. But don’t get fat, ok?

There are a couple of smoothie photos up there too. The smoothie in a glass is my new favorite afternoon snack; dark cherries, banana, coconut milk, whey protein and dark cocoa powder make for a heavenly drink. ┬áThere’s also a picture of the $25 in smoothies I bought when we ran out of frozen fruit. Someone remind me why I am the poorest girl in my zip code again?

Speaking of, I really, like REALLY wanted to take a picture of a woman at the grocery store yesterday. My blogging ethics kept my phone in my purse, but let me describe her to you.

  • Expensively bleached, long hair
  • Wearing size 2, possibly size 0 $100 yoga pants
  • Bright, brand new looking athletic shoes with bouncy squares underneath
  • A puffy, yet very slim vest over her slouchy, Bloomingdale workout top
  • Enough makeup to be camera ready
  • Purse that could be sold to pay off my car
  • Diamonds, diamonds, diamonds

So you can see why I love living where I do, I have SO much in common with this type of woman. She’s probably the nicest thing ever. Who am I kidding? She’s probably awful and has an awful husband to go along with. Just kidding, she’s probably great. (Believe what you will). Don’t get the impression that there aren’t awesome and fun women around here, there are. There are just lots of not-awesome women too. Where am I going with this. Ah yes, noodles!

I bought a spiralizer! Now I can make zucchini noodles that rock my world.

That Vietnamese Home Cooking book? I mostly put that in there to remind myself I want to buy it. That photo was taken at an author event with Danielle Walker, who wrote Against All Grain. I did some recipe testing for her book and finally got myself a signed copy. See that photo? It’s in there too.

There’s also a cup of trail mix, made from the Whole Foods trail mix bar. Again, mostly a reminder to myself to set up a home trail mix station.

The last photo is of a display for essential oils. I wanted to ask you all, have you had any good experiences with oils? I’d love to get my house full of these. I’d also like to put the bottle that says something to the effect of “Calm and Peaceful” in my classroom. Some days I kind of wonder if the kids in my class are chugging down their dads’ Red Bulls before school.

So you are now caught up with me. Do you want your money back? I can make it up to you. Watch this video. I’m so obsessed with this song right now.

Sorry about that. I totally tricked you. It’s like the worst video, possibly ever. Love you! Night!